Impact

Make me to know your ways, O Lord; teach me your paths.
Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation;
for you I wait all the day long.
Psalm 25:4,5

Lately I’ve been asking myself what has been the impact of my being here this past year?

We’ve met many volunteers who come to Kijabe for only a month. They soon realize that after they leave, Kijabe will be much the same. But after being here, the impact in their own lives is often immense, and sometimes life-changing.

I came to Kijabe last year with low expectations, wanting to serve wherever I was needed, but with no lofty goals in mind. During the first few months of working here, I did a lot of observing, listening, and building relationships with colleagues, nurses, and other staff.

But along the way, I couldn’t help noticing ways we could do things better, simple things that would make us more efficient while improving the quality and safety of our care for patients. I even allowed myself to think that I could help the Kenyan staff bring substantial improvement to Salome ward.

We’ve been here almost ten months, with only a few weeks to go, and Salome is pretty much the same as when I came. My impact has been minimal.

I envy those who can point to the programs they implemented, and the improvements they put in place while they spent time at a place like Kijabe. I’ve been discouraged lately to realize that I don’t have much to point to.

But then I wonder if it all goes back to the advice we were given the day we arrived, and which we’ve repeated countless times since: “In Africa, it’s not about task or time, it’s all about relationship.” Could that apply here as well?

So I’ve thought about the relationships I’ve formed here. Each morning, I love to walk onto the ward and greet Catherine, Peninah, Anne, Naomi, Mildred, Jacob, Mary, Esther, Florence, Daniel, and Blenche. During the day, I’ll interact with Rich, Peter, Josephine, Pauline, Demetrius, Charles, Tobias, Jack, Bob, Rhett, and Steve.

I share patient concerns with chaplains Mark, Susan, Agnes, and Sylvia. I say hello to guards, lab techs, and others whom I know by face but not yet by name. I see these people every day, and I love working with them. Together we share the love of Christ with the many sick patients who come through Kijabe.

I’m a reserved guy. For me, relationships take work, and sometimes courage. I’ve been grateful for the advice we received early on; it’s frequently helped me to keep my priorities straight, and probably kept me out of trouble!

After thinking about it, I wonder if my impact here, if any, is invisible and intangible. It’s a nurse who feels more confident because of the respect I showed her. An intern who feels more competent because of the teaching and affirmation I provided. A patient who has more hope because I took a little time to listen, explain things, and pray for her.

Then I wonder if even those things are small compared to the impact in my own life. I don’t like to admit it, but perhaps I’m no different from the volunteer who comes for a month: my being here won’t change Kijabe much at all, but it could leave a lasting imprint in my life.

And maybe that’s okay.

- Doug